What is BPD?

TRIGGER WARNING!!! including themes surrounding mental health, suicide and self harm.

BPD ‘borderline personality disorder’ also known as EUPD ‘emotionally unstable personality disorder’ is a personality disorder, that affects a persons self-image, and interpersonal relationships. Symptoms can include impulsivity, intense anger, feelings of emptiness, strong abandonment fears, suicidal or self-mutilation behaviour.

‘Personal experience’

When I was diagnosed in 2021 with BPD it felt so weird, because there were so many intense emotions that I was feeling. Angry, sad, glad. Angry at myself, at the people around me. Sad that its something that has affected me for so long, sad that I can’t be ‘normal’ or that I couldn’t just have simple emotions. It’s always, rage, emptiness, highs. There was no in between. Glad that I had an answer. Glad that I had options to alleviate some of my more severe symptoms.

I spent years being called overdramatic, too emotional. I was scared that everyone was going to leave me, and worse.. that I deserved it. It has taken four long!!! years. However I’m finally in a place where I can start regular psychotherapy, or to be specific art psychotherapy. It’s too early to tell if it will help, or if I need to find another type of psychotherapy, and I’m on sertraline to help with the anxiety and depression side of things. After my diagnosis I went into a sort of hole. Psychological that is. There are certain things that happen in order for BPD to form. While genetics can play a factor. A major part they have found in the majority of patients is emotional, physical, verbal, sexual and phycological abuse. Which can be a lot. Especially when you start to go over everything. It’s a painful process admitting that things happened. I would blame myself, for not being strong enough. Maybe if I hadn’t overreacted. That was a thought that I had constantly. While I was told by doctors when I was being diagnosed that they try not to diagnose anyone under the age of 24 (I was 23 at the time), there’s been research to suggest that diagnosing earlier could help with alleviating symptoms long term, as well as helping patients with BPD manage their disorder better thank patients who have been diagnosed later in life. (https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.21156)

All of this to say that it can be incredibly difficult going to the doctors about worries. Especially if you have a specific idea in your head. But it is important that if you do have worries, and things are difficult to try and talk to doctors and advocate for yourself, or have someone come with you and have them help advocate for you.

Some statistics:

In the UK between 2-3% of the population have been diagnosed with BPD. Which may not seem like a big number. However when the population of the UK is 68.35 million, that 2-3% may not seem so small.

To be even more specific for my area. In Sheffield, 17.1% of the adult population have a diagnosis of either depression or anxiety, while 0.9% of the adult population have a diagnosis of a more severe mental illness.

In Sheffield, individuals with a mental illness are at a higher risk of mortality compared to the general population. These mental health issues are linked with other health challenges such as chronic respiratory disease, musculoskeletal disorders, and neurological disorders.

Prevention is so important, and taking peoples mental health is incredibly important.