Derealisation
Derealisation is a dissociative symptom. Characterized by feeling detached from surroundings, making the world seem distorted, surreal or dreamlike.
70% of people with BPD experience moderate to severe dissociative symptoms, such as derealisation (National Institutes of Health.gov) it is often a chronic feature of BPD rather than jut being a temporary symptom. You usually experience derealisation in moments of high stress or emotional dysregulation. It can last a few moments to years. It does depend on the person and the situation. Which is why its important to talk to your health professionals if you or someone you know is going through it.
Personal experience:
When i went through derealisation, it can only be described as terrifying. It was slow at first. Like a very thin glass wall was going up in front of me. It soon got thicker and thicker, until nothing felt real. My emotions, my life. Things that were happening, it felt like it wasn’t real. That i was detached from everyone else, and because of that, it felt like things didn’t matter. At night time when i would get ready to go to sleep, i would go into severe panic attacks. I wouldn’t be able to sleep. It affected me so deeply, and it lasted for months. I didn’t know how to get out of it. It felt i was in a very deep well, and i was trying to crawl my way up. Having a good support system really helps. But ultimately it’s really important to go to the doctors and talk about what’s happening. For me they raised my dosage of sertraline to start and went from there, and it did take a while, but eventually, that glass wall got thinner and thinner, and I was able to experience things again, I didn’t feel numb. Don’t get me wrong, I do still have moments where I go back into derealisation. It doesn’t last as long though, and hopefully it doesn’t happen for that amount of time again.
It is really important to understand that derealisation is a psychological defence mechanism. Acting as a subconscious ‘airbag’ to protect the brain from overwhelming emotions, extreme stress, or trauma.
While it acts as a protector, this defence can become harmful if it persists, leading to emotional numbness, difficulties with relationships, or memory.
For the people who know someone close to them with BPD who’s going through derealisation, it’s important to be patient. Be aware. Try and encourage them to go for walks with you. If you can encourage them to go to the doctors. Go with them if that helps them advocate for them.
It can be a really scary experience, so if you have a good support system, try and open up about how you’re feeling.
