The crash after splitting.
Recently I had an episode where I ended up splitting. After I was completely exhausted, and also shaky. So I thought I would explain it on here.
Splitting is a defense mechanism, where someone will go into an or or nothing opinion, it’s called black or white thinking. It’s usually triggered by fear of abandonment or stress. Symptoms of splitting can be, drastic mood swings, so it can be extremely loving to extreme anger. They won’t be able to see grey areas or recognise there nuances in some situations, as well as impulsive reactions, some may react in self destructive behaviour. I have already talked about it in depth in a post before.
Something that’s different with this one is I wanted to talk about the crash that happens after.
Because you use a lot of energy when you go through, mentally and physically, you will crash afterwords and it’s important that you are able yourself back to a grounded state. If you are able to, I’ve found the best method is to sleep, either a nap or overnight, to reset the body. But if you can’t do that, having ten minutes to yourself, having chocolate or something sugary can help a lot to refill your energy. After splitting, it’s very common to have feeling of shame and fear and guilt, so it’s important if you anyone was involved, to try and talk about with them, and if they can reassure you.
Splitting can very extremely difficult because it can last between a couple of minutes, hours, to days, weeks, and even months. I always say this, but I will continue to say this, but it is incredibly important that you are able to have a good secure support system, as it is easier to bring yourself out of it, if you are able to have that reassurance and security, this is because it is a defence mechanism.
For the people around those with BPD, it may seem personal, but it’s not. The person has been triggered by something and is struggling with the emotions surrounding fear of abandonment, if you can try to talk through what happened and why they are scared, and if you can, reassure them. It may take time, but it can work to help someone come out of splitting.
The come down after splitting can be just as stressful as the split, as your both your body and mind become completely exhausted, your emotions are still a little unstable, as you start feeling upset and guilty, even if you didn’t do anything or say anything, having thoughts of someone is all good or all bad or situation, can make you feel really bad, and if your not able to open up about it, or articulate it, it can be harder to process it
So bullet points
. If you can have a sleep after crashing. If not sugar will help.
. Try and communicate with the people who have BPD, give them time to breathe.
. Unless it was a dangerous situation, try and reflect to what triggered you.
. It’s okay if you need space, coming down from splitting is exhausting.
