Splitting

Splitting is a concept you might have heard before. At its core, it is a defense mechanism used in people who have bpd.

In BPD, splitting refers to the tendency to perceive people, situations, or oneself in extreme, all-or-nothing terms, often oscillating between idealization and devaluation, without recognizing the nuances in between. It's a defense mechanism where individuals might view someone as either entirely good or completely bad, and these perceptions can shift rapidly and dramatically. 

BPD splitting involves intense shifts in perceptions and emotions. People may quickly alternate between idealising and devaluing people, situations, and themselves. This can lead to unstable relationships, rapid mood swings, impulsive behaviour, and difficulty tolerating ambiguity. These extreme shifts in thinking can cause emotional distress and challenges in maintaining balanced perspectives. https://leafcare.co.uk/blog/bpd-splitting-symptoms-and-causes/#:~:text=BPD%20splitting%20involves%20intense%20shifts,challenges%20in%20maintaining%20balanced%20perspectives.

The length of time with splitting honestly ranges from minutes to hours to even longer periods of time

Thinking about before I was on medication and in therapy, I would split, a lot, and its not a nice feeling, it was incredibly distressing, and I think I lost friendships because of it.

It’s important to understand that splitting comes from a place of fear. Where a person feels like they are in danger. Whether that danger is real or not. it serves to help reduce the stress of complex or contradicting emotions, and fears of abandonment.

It’s not a deliberate choice, but a subconscious strategy to protect oneself from negative emotions like loneliness or fear of abandonment.

Some examples.

Say you have a partner, one day you can see your partner as the most amazing person to ever exist, but if that person than makes a mistake, or what you perceive as a mistake, you can than unconsciously split and then see them as ‘the worst person in the world.’

This can even happen with self-perception.

You might see yourself as a good person one moment and then the worst person the next.

This can lead to strained relationships, emotional exhaustion, but also you can find it difficult to understand complex qualities in other people or situations.